


Pandora Vice

by Half_PintGladiator



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Cop Drama, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Police, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-03-13 23:57:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13581675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Half_PintGladiator/pseuds/Half_PintGladiator
Summary: In the criminal justice system...Maya is forensic scientist trying to deal with the day-to-day caseload of the Pandora PD. Unfortunately, the more she tries to make her life work, the more it crumbles.A multichapter crack fic.





	1. Cold Case Blues

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not even sure what motivated me to write this. It's crack. Pure, unadulterated crack.
> 
> Edited to fit it to my latest update on my note page.

Steel gray clouds threatened to spill their bounty on the gathered crowd, but nary a drop fell as the casket was lowered into the ground. His death at the hands of the DA turned kingpin Handsome Jack was all over the front page for well over a week. Roland had been a good man, a great chief of police. Jack’s propaganda begged to differ. 

Flowers of varying types and colors were piled up on the casket. A few words of condolences were swapped graveside before mourners dispersed to the station. Rolands’s wake was to be held in the home of his beloved force. Maya exhaled slowly, clapping Gaige on the shoulder.

“Shall we?”

“Yeah… At least at the station I can get a drink…”

The two women were silent throughout the short drive to the precinct. Maya slid her runner into a parking spot labelled forensic specialist before setting the parking brake. She almost never drove anywhere in the city, but made an exception for that miserable cloudy day. They were greeted by a black-clad officer, a former member of Roland’s old military unit, holding out a basket. He bore a small pin with a red lance motif.

“We’re taking up collections to help set Tina up.”

Maya placed a wad of bills into the basket, not bothering to count them. Gaige did the same. The pair parted ways in the lobby. The mechromancer to the comm room, Maya to the bullpen. As Maya expected, there was a crowd. Food was set up on a desk whose occupant wasn’t present at the day’s solemn event. There was a sea of black bobbing around Lilith, the new chief of police. Maya instead steered herself to the buffet; she’d speak to Lilith later. When things were calmer.

Maya eased herself into a chair on the edge of the room, taking care not to crease her suit. Her own desk was a floor down and she didn’t particularly feel like dealing with Tannis. She was soon joined by Lieutenant Axton.

“Been one helluva day, huh?”

“No kidding.”

“Roland was a good guy. Can’t believe that asshole killed him.”

“At least he went out better than Mayor Pierce. There’s a growing list of people who deserved better.” Maya picked at the food on her plate, her jaw tensing.

“Any news on Jack’s kid?”

“Dunno. Gaige is probably Echoing her doctor.”

“Ah, so that’s where the whiz kid is. How’re you holding up?”

“Just fine, Ax. You doing okay?”

“Wishing to hell that I could’ve done something. I need a drink, you want one?”

“You and me both. Sure, make it a double. Say hi to Moxxi for me.”

“I’m not hitting on her for you.”

“I’m not asking you to.” 

Maya contented herself with her plate. It held mostly bar food and a crumpet (Tina always raved about how good crumpets were, so she saw no harm in trying). Her eyes tracked the individual mourners. Marcus, the owner of the local gun range, hovered to one side. Sure, he was a small time gun runner, but he was a nice enough guy supposing you didn’t ask for a refund. The coroner, Zed stood next to Marcus, looking glum. To Zed’s right stood the chief mechanic, Scooter. Scooter was without his usual trucker hat and layer of grease; his suit didn’t fit him all that well.

The next group of mourners included Scooter’s sister, Ellie, her usual smile gone, Salvador, the undercover narc, and Zer0, their federal liaison. The trio was standing in a solemn silence, waiting for chance to speak with Lilith. Lilith herself was surrounded by the ex-gang banger turned cop, Brick and his partner, the ever-close to retirement Mordecai. A teenage girl in a raggedy dress hovered close to the redheaded chief of police. Tina was taking the news hard.

Tannis was undoubtedly down in the lab, crying to her mass spectrometer. Again.

Axton returned, plopping ungracefully into the hard plastic chair. He proffered a red plastic cup.

“Whiskey and cola. Moxxi isn’t up to making anything fancy.” 

“Thanks.”

“Did I miss anything?” 

“Nah. Just an awkward hug between Mordy, Brick, and Lil. Oh, and Tina.”

Axton sipped at his drink as the next group moved to console the so-called Firehawk. They had never let her live down her brief stint as a vigilante. 

“Y’know, I heard that Lil and Roland broke up before he died.”

“They always did have that dynamic.” Maya picked at a piece of fried rakk, shredding the meat. 

“Speaking of, where’s Tannis?”

“Lay off it, Ax. She’s down in the lab.”

“With Madame Mass?”

“She’ll kill you if she hears you say that. The spec is Beatrice.” 

Axton stole a bit of rakk off of her plate, shrugging in a devil-may-care way.

“Still funny as hell that she dumped you for a piece of lab tech.”

“We weren’t dating. It was a casual thing.”

Krieg stumbled toward them, his dark eyes wide. 

“Why pretty blue haired lady sad?” He bellowed.

His mourning clothes consisted of stained black pants and a t-shirt with a printed tuxedo design. He had been a regular beat cop, until PTSD and a traumatic head injury took its toll. He still tried.

“Krieg, you need to take your meds. You’re not using your inside voice. It’s a sad occasion.”

The big man patted his pockets until he found an orange bottle. It took him several attempts to pull the cap off. Eventually he dry-swallowed a pill. He only took his medication when Maya asked him to. 

“Go get some food and be sure to say something nice to Lil and Tina about Roland.”

Krieg lumbered off to the buffet. He was eyed warily by Brick at first, but was soon give a plate piled high with food. He was a well-meaning man, even if he wasn’t entirely sure what all was going on. 

“He likes you, Mai.”

“I told him no.” 

“Aww, break the poor kid’s heart.”

Maya ignored him and downed her drink in a gulp. The pair fell silent until the seat between them was occupied. Gaige’s bright red hair was out of its usual pigtails. The strands hung limply along her face. Her eyeliner was smudged as though she had wiped away tears.

“Everything okay, kid?”

“I just got news from Angel’s doctors.”

“And?”

The tech whiz let out a loud sigh, but a slow smile worked her way across her face.

“Angel’s gonna make it. We got her to the hospital just in time. She’s going to need a lot of care at first, but she’ll be able to leave the hospital soon.”

Angel was another of Jack’s victims. He poisoned his own kid with the street drug eridium and tried to blame them when she nearly died of an overdose.

“At least we got some good news out of today.”

Maya slid her plate into Gaige’s hands. The redhead usually stole her leftovers anyway. 

“Where’re you--”

“I’m going to pay my respects, get a cup of coffee, and head home.”

“Already?”

Maya nodded as she crumpled the little red cup. Gaige could easily find her way back to their apartment. Axton just smirked at her, waggling his eyebrows. Once more, she ignored him. Tiny Tina all but jumped into her arms as she approached the pair. Lilith smiled sadly at her. 

“How’re you holding up, Lil?”

“I hate being at the center of attention for this shit. Hearing all this nice stuff about Roland is only making me sadder. I’m gonna ditch soon and drink.”

Maya set Tina on the ground, ruffling the girl’s hair. The two women stared at each other for a moment.

“You doing okay, Maya?”

“Yeah. I still feel like shit about everything, but I’ll live.”

“Hey, we came out of it okay, killer. Roland couldn’t have asked for more.”

There was a quiet moment between them as Tina ran off to pester Mordecai. 

“What’s going to happen to Tina?”

“I’m not letting her become a ward of the state again, that’s for sure. Even if I have to adopt her myself.”

Lilith paused, brushing her dark red hair out of her face. Maya tried to pry her eyes away from Lilith’s black dress. 

“Any word on the kid?”

“I think Tina would love having you for a parent. Angel? Gaige just broke the news to Ax and I that she’s going to be okay.” 

The redhead let out a loud sigh of relief, a brief smile flashing on her face. Maya felt her own lips twitch into a small smile.

“Good. I’d hate to hear we lost her too.”

The awkward silence between them resumed. Maya shifted her feet before pointing to the coffee pot in the corner of the room. 

“I’m gonna grab some coffee and head out. You, uh, take care, Lil.”

“Leaving so soon?”

“I want to square away the paperwork while it’s fresh in my mind.”

“Spoilsport.” 

“See you, Lil.”

Maya excused herself, ducking over to the coffee maker. Atlas Latte 5000. Perhaps the greatest invention in the history of Pandora. Scooping coffee and setting the controls was soothing to her. The bubbling of hot water helped her steady her trembling hands. Coffee burbled into a foam cup. Before long she mixed in creamer and raw sugar, taking a grateful gulp of the hot brew. She found Axton where she left him.

“Hey, make sure someone gets Gaige home okay.” 

“Party pooper. She’ll be fine.”

Seeing her glare, he raised a placating palm. “Okay, okay, I’ll make sure she gets home in one piece.”

“Thanks.”

Coffee in hand, Maya slipped out of the building. She leaned heavily against a brick wall, a good hundred feet from the station’s entrance. Her runner was in view, but she paid it no mind. She sipped at her coffee, pursing her lips at fleeting thoughts. Maybe if she had moved faster Roland would still be alive. Maybe if they pushed for him to stay back at the precinct… Maybe, maybe, maybe. Releasing a pent up sigh, she headed for her runner. No use standing out in the cold wishing things were different. It wouldn’t change anything. 

Shortly after arriving home, Maya tossed her suit back into its dry cleaning bag. She hung the bag from a key hook in the hallway so she wouldn’t forget it. Clad in baggy pajama pants and a muscle shirt, she dropped into favorite chair, a manilla file in hand. There were no names on the outside, just a case number. The first thing she pulled out were the coroner’s notes. Zed’s audio log was transcribed in meticulous detail, including his accent. Maya almost smiled. 

“The decedent, Handsome Jack, was shot a dozen times with varying ammunition types, but the killing shot was at the nasal bone, which exited the occipital bone. Time of death-- three thirteen local time. A DoA, if you will.” 

She pulled out her copy of the munitions report, reviewing the source of each slug. All belonged to service firearms. It figured that her first mandatory field case was one where she had a hand in killing someone. Sighing she signed her report and slapped the file’s cover shut. Without a second thought she tossed it onto a well-used coffee table. A care-worn paperback sat alongside the file, just begging for her to read it. It was a harlequin novel. Her guilty pleasure. To hell with feeling glum, she could drown her sorrows in books and cheap take out. 

A few hours later, Gaige arrived home, kicking off her customized high tops as she stepped into the apartment. She found Maya using chopsticks to scoop noodles out of a tiny paperboard container. An open bottle of beer sat on the table.

“Oh hey, you’re actually here.”

As soon as Maya finished her mouthful, she pointed her chopsticks at the simulated granite countertop. 

“There’s some on the counter for you. I didn’t think you were coming home, but ordered anyway.”

“Sorry, Mai, I went to check up on Angel.”

“And?”

“She’s awake. She’s slurring worse than a drunken Salvador, but the doctors said that’s normal after all the meds she’s been on.”

“You’re awfully cheerful.”

Maya speared an unidentifiable vegetable on the end of her chopstick before jamming it into her mouth.

“I didn’t tell you? Angel and I are dating… I asked her out before shit hit the fan.”

“Really? Congrats.”

There was a few minutes of silence as Gaige piled up a plate. She dropped onto the couch next to Maya, jostling the older woman. 

“Ye--ah. But it means we can’t keep screwing around, sorry, Mai.”

Maya choked on a mouthful of rice. She managed to grab her beer and took a long slug. 

“Damn it, Gaige. It was only once. I didn’t mean to…”

“Chill out, Mai. If I didn’t want it, I’d have said no.”

“I’m still embarrassed that I took your virginity. Never meant to…” Maya toed the cheap carpet, frowning.

“Better you than some of our coworkers. Plus, I’m totally into older chicks.” 

Maya side-eyed Gaige, one of her eyebrows rising in amusement. 

“And guys. Hammerlock is still not over your flirting.”

“Hammerlock is a distinguished gentleman. He deserves the attention.”

“He’s gay, Gaige.”

“Yeah, well, maybe he’ll try girl once.”

“Uh… I doubt it works that way.”

Gaige mulled over her mouthful of orange rakk. She poked at a broccoli floret that was too crisp to chew.

“I still can’t believe you and Tannis fucked in the lab every day for two weeks. And then she freakin’ dumped you for the mass spec.”

Maya tried to ignore her. She took an extra mouthful of noodles, but Gaige’s persistent stare made her crack. 

“Yeah, well, apparently she was trying to make Beatrice jealous. It worked.”

“Don’t you have a scar on your shoulder from where she bit you?”

“Well considering that I had to wear a turtleneck for two weeks… Yes, it’s still there.”

Gaige shook her head tutting softly. She took a long pull from a can of soda.

“What about Krieg?”

“I said no and I intend on things staying that way.”

They were quiet for a good while, but Maya could feel Gaige’s eyes on her every so often.

“So, who else can you get with?”

Maya rolled her eyes, setting her noodles aside. She drained her beer with a look of mild indignation forming. 

“Since you asked, not Axton since he’s seeing Ellie.”

“Can’t be Sal, he doesn’t do the whole dating-screwing thing. Also, ‘roids.”

“Not Zer0. I’m not even sure what Zer0 is and they rarely socialize with us.”

“Brick is a no. He prefers punching things until they break.”

“Zed’s out. I barely trust him to do his job.”

Gaige pushed the overcooked broccoli floret around her plate. “Definitely not Mordy. He’s almost never sober.”

“Scooter’s pining over the con artist that ripped him off, so that’s a nope.”

“Her, really? Weren’t we supposed to bring her in?”

“Lil said let it drop. She’s only screwing over crime syndicates.” 

Gaige’s eyes practically sparkled at the mention of their new chief of police.

“Speaking of Lil…”

“No, Gaige.” 

“Aw, c’mon, she’s bound to be lonely.”

“That’s low, Gaige.”

Gaige lifted her eyebrow over the rim of her soda can. Maya inched away just slightly. 

“No, it’s being an opportunist. Just say you were checking on her. You score, you score. You don’t, well, no harm right?”

Maya fixed her roommate with an incredulous stare, one eyebrow reaching for her hairline. 

“By the way you’re talking, it sounds like you’re saying I should go tonight.”

“Why not? Go for it.”

The siren rose from her seat, making Gaige grin.

“You know what, I’m going to go for a run. To clear my mind of your awful suggestion.”

“On a full stomach, in the dark?”

“Shut up, Gaige.”

Without missing a beat, the redhead grinned. “Take a change of clothes.”

And for some reason, Maya took Gaige’s advice. She rolled a fresh change of clothes into a small bundle and jammed it into the free space surrounding her hydration pack. She tucked her gun into a pouch between the bag and the small of her back; one could never be too safe. When she reentered the living room, Gaige was using her dirty chopsticks to scoop up noodles.

“You have a fork, Gaige.”

“We’ve fucked, Mai. I’m not worried about your germs. Maybe your powers could heal me from the inside.”

“It doesn’t work that way.”

“Have fun, Mai.”

Maya fixed her with the most piercing glare she could manage. To her chagrin, the girl was unfazed. Maya took care to close the door loudly, but not loudly enough to disturb the neighbors. Axton always told them off for making too much noise.

Maya didn’t run at first. She circled her block in an attempt to clear her head. Her feet lead her to the street that would eventually end up in Lilith’s home on Frostburn Canyon. Maya hated that road. Psychos everywhere. And yet, her feet carried her through Three Horn Divide toward Lilith’s tiny home. The lights were still on when she got there. She swallowed nervously as she climbed the two steep stairs to Lilith’s front door. Almost immediately after she knocked she found herself meeting Lilith’s bright yellow eyes.

“‘Sup?”

Maya could smell the booze on her. She didn’t notice Lilith swaying or slurring. If anything the new chief of police had only just started drinking. 

“Gaige said I should drop by and check on you, so… Here I am.” She ended lamely.

Lilith’s gaze lingered on her lips. She was standing closer to Maya than the usual, acceptable distance. Lilith’s hand brushed Maya’s cheek, the touch burning. Her lips burned more. Maya knew she fucked up the instant she was in Lilith’s bed.


	2. The First Rule

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I need to finish the quote? And we step into part one of genre bending. Consider the shark jumped by Episode 2.

Maya awoke at a quarter past nine. Her head was blurry, her thoughts stuffy. She probably got the order wrong, but it got the point across. The bed she was in felt wrong. It was too soft, too warm. She blinked muzzily, surveying the room. Clothes were piled randomly across the furniture. A few books lay open on the dresser and nightstand, their spines straining. Maya could smell firemelon perfume. Definitely not her bedroom.

Sheets hissed over her bare skin. The events of the previous night came rushing back. As did the realization that she was late to work. Maya found a towel, a toothbrush in cling wrap, and a protein bar waiting for her along with a brief note from Lilith. 

Maya--

Decided to let you sleep. Don’t worry if you’re late, meet me in the situation room and I’ll catch you up. Something came up and I had to go in. I left you a few things so could could clean up. See you at work, killer.

-Lilith

Maya swore under her breath as she showered. Damn it, she was supposed to be better than that. Oh she’d never hear the end of it. Ever. 

Maya didn’t bother to brush her hair or tidy up her clothes. She didn’t give a flying fuck that she was in a muscle shirt and jeans. A lab coat would easily cover her lack of professional wear. She snagged her hydration pack from where it fell on the floor, scooped up her gun and headed out, protein bar in her mouth. 

Frostburn Canyon was much quieter now that the Children of the Firehawk were disbanded. Not that Maya liked the neighborhood any better without the major gang. At least her neighborhood, Sanctuary, was quiet. Well, mostly.

Two miles, a quick cut through an alleyway, and nearly getting clipped by an asshole civilian brought her to the station. It didn’t look half as austere in the light of a clear day. Maya’s quick footsteps made her crosstrainers squeak on the polished linoleum floor. No one seemed to notice her hasty entrance.

The bullpen was surprisingly empty; assignments had probably been doled out and the force had dispersed-- save for Mordecai and the two other lab junkies as Axton called Gaige, Tannis, and herself. Mordecai glanced up from his desk, daily siesta briefly forgotten. He flashed a knowing grin at her, waggling his eyebrows. Maya mouthed an empty threat as she passed him. Mordecai took no notice. 

Grumbling to herself, Maya made her way into the situation room, aka the briefing room. Lilith was seated at the wide table, pouring over a map of Pandora. Or at least that was what she was pretending to do. Maya could spy Lilith’s phone on the map, tiny text displayed on the screen. Maya cleared her throat. Lilith’s phone went flying. Absently, Maya clenched her fist, casting an energy ball to hold the device. Lilith looked none-too-pleased with the interruption. Her palm rested over her chest. Maya struggled to pull her eyes away from the other woman’s bosom. 

“Shit, you scared me half to death.”

“Sorry, but your note said meet you here. What’s up?”

Lilith snatched her phone from the phaselock, shoving the device in her pocket. She passed a hand through her unruly red hair, a slow smirk crossing her lips.

“So, what all do you know about fighting rings?”

“You mean other than boxing rings are the only ones legal in our jurisdiction?”

Lilith curled her finger gesturing for more information.

“And that Moxxi runs a friendly fighting club of sorts that we don’t interfere with.”

“Right. And this is where you come in.” 

Maya leaned in the doorway, eyebrow lifting. 

“Uh, you lost me.”

“Oh right, I forgot to break the news to you. Torgue has an illegal fighting ring going on and I need a man in on the job. Problem is: Sal is investigating the Bloodshots, Krieg… Well, I can’t send Krieg somewhere like that. He might not follow orders. Brick is definitely not allowed a job like this.”

“What about Zer0?”

“Can’t. Zer0’s-- well he-- they?-- whatever they are, they’re not allowed to take on this job. Something about legal technicalities.”

“But it’s an illegal fighting ring.”

“I can’t violate hi-- their contract. That and they’re better at gunfights and stabbing things with swords.”

“What about Axton?”

At that point, Lilith had her feet propped up on the table, lazily ticking off their teammates on her fingers. The fact that Lilith could easily get settled almost anywhere she went was enough to irk Maya to no end. At least at the times where Maya wasn’t staring at Lilith’s legs. Lilith really needed to learn that propping her feet up while wearing a skirt was not a bright idea.

“That’s why I had to come in earlier. Apparently he got in a runner accident last night and broke his collarbone. The sad part is: he was completely sober. He just decided to race one of the Hodunks through the Dust and well, the airbag deployed.”

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“I wish. It’s now your job.”

“You can’t do it?”

“Maya, I stick out like a sore thumb after the whole Firehawk thing.”

Maya released a long sigh. Her shoulders slumped. She remained firmly in the doorway, refusing to step any closer to Lilith in the off-chance that temptation would be far too strong.

“I signed up as a forensic scientist, not as a field agent.”

“Yeah, but you’re buff enough to pull off the whole fighter thing and are probably the only person bright enough to actually pay attention to the job at hand and not get caught up in cracking other guys’ heads. Plus, this gets us a lead on Pyro Pete, Motor Momma, FlyBoy, and Piston.”

A soft whistle escaped Maya at the list of the gang members involved in the little fighting ring. Some serious badasses. A chance to bring them all in was too good of an opportunity to pass up.

“I know I’m going to regret this, but fine, I’ll do it.”

Lillith's feet were off of the desk. Maya scarcely had time to blink before she found Lilith standing in front of her. 

“You sound disappointed that I’m giving you an assignment. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you get plenty of quality one-on-one time.”

“Uh…”

Maya had that distinct feeling that once more she was in over her head. She couldn’t quite place her finger on the why or how she wound up in such situations, but there she was again. Making out with her boss in the middle of the day after she showed up three hours late to her shift. Except the last time she had been over her head it left her with a scar on her shoulder. And the slight ire of her other coworkers. 

“Hey, boss, I got the-- Jeez Maya, I knew you had it for the boss lady, but shit. Get a freakin’ room. Or tell me all about it when you get home.”

Lilith broke off the kiss, smirking smugly as she took the folder from Gaige’s hands. Gaige watched in amusement as Maya desperately tried to smooth her ruffled hair. Lilith dismissed the pair without a word. Maya meandered toward the sublevel, heading to her office in a daze. Gaige trailed after her, trying her best to stifle her giggles. She waited until Maya had sat down in her office before she sprung on her.

“Okay, spill.”

“Gaige!”

Gaige shut the door behind her before she dropped into the chair across the plain faux wood and steel desk. 

“You totally tapped that last night. And she totally wants seconds.”

“Oh my god, Gaige.”

“How was it? C’mon, girl, spill.”

Maya ran her hand through her hair, mussing it up once again. She sighed loudly, slumping back into her chair. She waited a minute or two. And then she grinned. 

“Yeah, it was awesome.”

Gaige lifted her nonmetal palm, holding it up. Rolling her eyes, Maya gave her a high-five. 

“Told you so.”

“I feel kind of bad, though.”

“Feel bad if, when she dumps you.”

“You’re absolutely awful, you know that?”

“I know.”

Maya booted her computer, lifting her eyebrow when Gaige didn’t leave. 

“Did you have any other questions or are you just going to gloat?”

“Actually, when was the last time you did a system backup and cleanup?”

“Last week like you told me to.”

Gaige rubbed the back of her neck, her cheeks nearly matching the red of her hair. 

“Oh good. Don’t do a backup this week. I, uh, created a virus that may be leaking nude photos to all the station’s computers.”

“I really wish you’d stick with robotics and programming things other than viruses.”

“Actually, don’t sign in. I uh, yeah, I’ll get you the rap sheets for the fighting rings major baddies.”

Maya buried her face in her palms. 

“In other words, they were pictures of--”

“Security footage of you and Tannis. It was kind of, well, not intended. I thought I deleted the video feed for you, but uh, oops. This was supposed to recover deleted files faster than the conventional methods but it’s smarter than I thought.”

“I really, really hate you right now.”

“Love you too, roomie.”

Gaige was out of the room in a flash, bolting before Maya could call up her powers. Maya let her head gently thump against the desk a few times. She would kill to have a normal job, a normal life. Well, normal save for her sex life. That could stay as crazy as it was. The door opened again ten minutes later. Gaige held up a flash drive and a handful of paper files.

“I uh, installed a modified antivirus so we can fix the little bug issue. I hate to kill the thing, but, yeah. My bad. I will actually delete those files for good so that it doesn’t happen again. Just run the program and it should be fixed. And here’s the rap sheets I promised you.”

“Let me guess, now you have to go into the mainframe, install this new program, flush all the computers and hope that someone hasn’t seen the pictures or video feed as you put it.”

“Ye-ahhh. I’m going to do that right now.” 

“Then why give me the flash drive?”

“You’ll see.”

Once more Gaige was gone before Maya could comment. She groaned softly, rolling her eyes until they ached. She pulled open a drawer and tossed the USB drive in, slamming the drawer home without pause. She shut down her computer once more. Four manilla files sat in front of her begging to be read. She picked up each, weighing them in her hands before settling on the smallest of the four, Flyboy’s. 

As soon as she finished reading his rap sheet, she slapped the cover shut. It was barely a ten minute read. Kid made pilot at a ridiculously young age, was a royal ass and had very few serious crimes on his sheet. Yet somehow he was supposed to be more dangerous than two of the other contenders? It just didn’t make sense. The kid was scrawny according to his profile. Maybe he bought his way to the top? She set his folder aside after scribbling a few notes on a legal pad. She highly doubted Pyro Pete’s sheet needed reviewing. A quick read through confirmed her thoughts. 

Torgue’s little illegal ring was definitely an oddity. It made her miss Moxxi’s fighting club where at least not everyone was a complete psychopath. By the time she got through Motor Momma’s sheet, Maya had to take a break. She leaned back deep in her desk chair, her head pressing back on the headrest. She shut her eyes for a moment, letting herself take in all the information. A cocky kid, a pyromaniac, a cannibalistic serial killer, and whatever the hell Piston was. Was Torgue doing them a favor? Was it some kind of coincidence? Why the hell was everyone in this city so fucked up? Maya exhaled slowly as she rolled her shoulders. 

She cracked her knuckles before diving back into her files. If Flyboy had the equivalent of a flyer for his rap sheet, Piston had a novel. And it wasn’t a slim paperback. Maya blew a stray strand of hair out of her face, grumbling softly as she cracked open Piston’s file and started in. How the fuck did someone manage to get under 1 percent body fat? By the time she reached the end of the file, she felt a kink in her neck. Her stomach started growling. Maya leaned back in her desk chair, letting the back of her head hit the meager padding on the head rest. Her door popped open, she grunted in acknowledgment. 

“Uh, you okay, killer?”

“These files are giving me a headache.”

“How’s about you and I grab lunch?”

Maya eased forward, cringing. She rubbed ineffectively at the back at her neck, offering a weak smile at Lilith. 

“Food sounds amazing right about now.”

“Come on, then. Let’s get us some Truxican and you can tell me what you’ve picked up from these files.” 

“You mean other than the urge to pummel these assholes into a puddle of their own blood?”

“Shit, you’ve been spending too much time around Sal.”

Maya’s desk chair creaked in protest when she rose. She extended her arms over her head, rising on her toes until at last her back cracked. 

“He keeps dropping in the lab to ask me about bullets and gunshot residue. I think he’s nervous about his deposition. So, how’s your first day as chief going?”

Lilith rolled her eyes as she beckoned to the door. 

“Like that, huh?”

“I never thought I’d do nothing but paperwork all day. Shit, and I complained when I did paperwork as a cop. I had to sign ten documents just for Axton’s medical leave.”

Maya whistled softly. Her office’s door clicked shut behind them. Lilith lifted a shoulder in a lazy shrug. Neither woman spoke as they made their way out of the station. Lilith lead the way to a little hole-in-the-wall Truxican place known as Tres Skagitos. It was a well known cop hangout, their food pretty much ordered itself. She ordered for the pair of them, taking a booth with a bottle of beer. She slid one across the table to Maya.

“Uhh.”

“We’re not on the clock and we won’t be on clock again for another hour, so, we’re good. Tell me what you know.”

Lilith took a long pull from her bottle. She traced her thumb over the neck of the bottle, leaving small patterns in the condensation. 

“Well, Flyboy doesn’t really have much of a reason to be on the list. His rap sheet is barely a sheet. I think he bought his way in. Pyro Pete, well, that’s kinda obvious. Dude loves his arson. Firestarting, criminal use of pyrotechnics, possession of illegal flamethrowers.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Criminal use of pyrotechnics? That’s a thing?”

“According to Statute 76859-2b it is.”

Lilith frowned, taking another slow sip from her beer. She kept eyeballing Maya’s bottle. 

“Okay, aside from him loving fire, is he a huge threat?”

“Not really. Take away his fire and he’s kind of useless.”

“Okay, good. What about the other two?”

Maya took a swig from her beer, cringing at the hint of imitation lime flavoring. She plucked a chip from the communal bowl. 

“Motor Momma is bad news. She can’t walk, but she’s vicious. She also ate her ex girlfriends.”

Lilith spat out a mouthful of beer, spraying the table and Maya. Maya’s nose wrinkled in disgust. 

“Ate her girlfriends?”

“Motor Momma’s a cannibal.”

“And I thought Sal was bad.”

“The biggest problem is gonna be Piston. His sheet is practically a book. Just about every crime out there he’s done. And he’s modified. Packing some upgrades.”

“Shit. What do you feel is going down?”

“Honestly, I think Torgue threw together what he thought was a great PR stunt only for it to attract the biggest badasses on this side of town. I don’t think he did it to help us. But I think we can work it in our favor. If I don’t get killed in the process.”

“Yeah, I’d kind of like it if you didn’t get yourself killed.” 

Maya opened her mouth to make a comment, but was stopped by the arrival of their food. The rich, spicy aroma of well-seasoned grilled skag meat made her mouth water. Snarky comments and the thought of illegal fighting rings could wait.


	3. Don't Talk [About Fight Club]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a brief hiatus due to projects both work and personal I'm finally updating. This chapter will cut off abruptly due to the fact that I intended for a split and ended up jumping to the next chapter instead of filling everything in. So, uh, whoops.

Of course, the site of the illegal fighting ring had to be in an abandoned warehouse in an area jokingly dubbed “The Badass Crater of Badassitude”. Maya preferred the term skid row. She didn’t have to step inside the building to get a whiff of the sweat and blood of the competitors. She adjusted the mask she had been loaned from the requisition office. It reeked of testosterone and old sweat. It took everything in her power not to gag. She adjusted the top strap, her fingers brushing through her recently dyed hair. Thankfully the color would wash out. She despised that particular shade of purple. 

Taking a deep breath, trying to ignore the stench of her mask, she gave her left arm a brief once over. Supposedly the makeup covering her tattoos was waterproof. She silently prayed that it stayed waterproof. She felt very out of sorts wearing the loose orange pants of a “psycho”. The tea-stained crop top didn’t help either. She made a mental note to question Lilith on her idea of a fitting combat suit. 

Another deep breath and she was ready to go. Zer0 had the building staked out, a microEcho comm in place in their padded leather suit. Maya had a nearly invisible mic tucked close to her vocal cords. Activating it required the most minimum of movements. If anything, it’d look like she was scratching her throat. 

“I’m going in.”

“I have got your back/ Be careful in there, my friend./Your target is near.”

Maya still couldn’t fathom why Zer0 spoke largely in haiku, but she didn’t question it. 

She rolled her shoulders, checking her range of motion. Limber and ready to kick ass. Maya stepped up to the heavy steel door. She carefully adjusted the knob so that when she made her entrance she wouldn’t hurt herself. A soft string of curses left her lips, most of them pointed at Lilith. She curled her fingers in, shifting stance. Her hips twisted as she delivered a roundhouse kick to the door. The portico slammed open with an impressive bang, the knob burrowing deep into cheap plaster. 

She wasn’t sure if the dim blue lights fixed in her mask blinded her or if it was the glaring overheads in the warehouse. Her nose was filled with the rank stench of unwashed bodies, sweat, blood, and testosterone. She pretended not to be affected and took up a cocky stance, feet spread apart, hands cradled behind her neck. The door slammed shut behind her. 

As soon as her eyes adjusted to the dual light sources, she surveyed the room. The few competitors were crowded around a large octagon made of chain link fence and old gym matting. 

Torgue was nowhere in sight, but with a little squinting, she could just make out Pyro Pete’s silhouette. 

“And a new badass enters the tournament! Get your knuckles ready, badasses for the Vault Hunter!” Torgue spoke in nothing lower than a bellow. Over the speaker system his voice came out as a roar. 

Maya cringed at the name. She adjusted her stance, flexing her fairly defined biceps. She swore she could feel her IQ dropping as she postured. The crowd booed. Trash arced over her head, missing by a long shot. 

“How about a horde fight, motherfuckers?! You want blood, I wanna give you it!”

Maya’s heart sunk. Her blood turned to ice. She swore to kill Lilith the next time she saw her, if she survived. 

“It’s you vs the world, Vault Hunter! Now go and kick some ass!”

A string of curses left her lips as she made her way to the octagon. It looked smaller from the door. Up close it was almost big enough to play host to a small concert. It was far from a professional ring, but the soldering was tight enough to prevent it from collapsing on them should someone slam into the boundaries. One of Torgue’s bouncers held open the door to the cage, ushering in Maya and the majority of the crowd. Maya counted ten fighters excluding herself. The makeshift door slammed shut, rattling the cage. 

“Are you ready, badasses? FIGHHHHTTTTT!”

Maya scarcely had time to utter the word ‘what’ before the horde closed in on her. She slipped under the reaching arms of one of the fighters, twisting on her heel to avoid a widely arced arm from another. She swept out her leg, knocking over one man. She dealt him a quick kick to the ribs. The crowd surged, fighters spreading out to circle her. A low bar hung in the center of the ring. Maya leapt, her fingers barely grasping the bar. She tightened her grip, pulling herself up and out of the reach of the teeming horde. Legs dangling below her, she surveyed the group. The one she kicked in the ribs had been trampled. A medic was dragging him out of the cage. 

Maya sucked in a breath and held it a beat. She dropped from her beam, her feet smashing into the chest of another competitor. He broke her fall. She tucked and rolled, rising to her feet in one fluid motion. A man charged at her, his arms wheeling wildly. She took a careful half step back, pivoted, and unleashed the full power of her fist into his face. He fell back; there was no way he was getting up anytime soon. Both the man she landed on and her last opponent were drug away. Three down, seven remained. 

Two men came at her at once. One grabbed her arms, twisting them behind her back. She slammed her head back, smacking him straight in the mouth. Her elbow found his gut. When he didn’t let go, she drove her elbow into his groin. He immediately let go of her. Maya stumbled forward. She gauged the distance between her and the shorter of the two men that had tried to box her in. She lunged for him, throwing her weight behind a sucker punch. He caught her arm when he swung for her. Maya took a hold of either side of his head and drove her knee right into his gut. 

The fighter she elbowed in the groin walked out of his own accord. His voice was likely a full octave higher after her blow. The small combatant was drug out, kicking and screaming. That left five. 

A bruiser came barrelling at her from clear across the octagon. She waited until last minute to sidestep. He ran face first into the cage wall. The flimsy structure rattled and clanked, shaking down to its meager foundation. Maya drove her elbow home into his back. Four left. That left a more even fight. 

Blood pounded in her ears. She could scarcely hear her own breathing as she took care of the remaining fighters. Every step, every blow was calculated. Just like training back in Athenas. Fast as her blood was rushing, she felt a state of ethereal calm. She swatted away errant blows, retorting with her lightning quick fists. The world had slowed if only for a few moments. Reality snapped back in when the last of the horde fell. Guilt flooded her, cooling the hot rush in her blood. She didn’t kill, but all her opponents had left with at least one broken bone. 

“Now that was seriously badass! I think you are ready to become the number one badass!” 

Maya stepped out of the cage on shaky legs. The adrenaline rush had faded. She could feel the bruises starting to form on her arms. Her limbs burned from exertion. She started down a dark corridor, acting as though she was just stretching her legs. Stealthy footfalls slipped behind her. They were quiet steps, but not quiet enough. 

“You’ll be lucky if you make it to your next round.” The voice oozed with slime and vitriol. 

Without a word, Maya decked Pyro Pete. She didn’t even bother to turn around to deal the blow. He fell to the floor with hardly a sound. She tapped the tiny mic hidden on her throat.

“First one’s out. Next is Motor Momma.” 

She could already picture the smiley on Zer0’s visor. She hardly heard them slip into the warehouse and sneak out with Pete’s unconscious body. Maybe the assignment wasn’t all that bad. As soon as she was sure Zer0 had gotten out, she turned back to the main body of the warehouse. The next match listing had already been made. She did a double take at the sight of a man a good six plus feet tall and a good three feet wide. He looked as though he had been carved out of a slab of marbled meat. Brick was huge, but this guy was bigger. He glared at her with animal eyes. He reeked of testosterone. 

“I’m coming for you.” She hardly believed herself as the words left her. She was suddenly very glad for the voice changer. 

“Nice try, little cheat. Piston’ll crush you like the bug you are. And Piston won’t even have to flex a finger.” 

 

 

Firm hands gripped the sides of her mask. The psycho mask slid off of her head easily, her blue hair spilling free of her loose ponytail. Maya blinked in surprise as non-blue tinted light hit her eyes. Before she could adjust, Lilith leaned in, pressing her lips hard against hers. Maya stumbled back until her mostly bare shoulders brushed the concrete wall of the station’s training room.

“What are you doing?”

“What do you think I’m doing, killer?”

“But I’m all gross.”

“We’ve got showers.”

Lilith’s palms traveled from Maya’s cheeks down to the thick buckle adorning her bandit style pants. It came loose with a loud click. Her pants fell down with not so much as a shimmy of her hips. The all too familiar tingle of Lilith’s tattooed skin brushing hers was back. She wanted to protest, to refuse, but her body betrayed her. The fight had taken more out of her than she cared to admit. And Lilith’s hands on her skin felt so, so good.


	4. Closing the Club

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much delayed due to me not having time and many life hiccups. But here is the second of the largely improvised chapters-- two out of like eight improv chapters.

Maya blinked, half-convinced that she had been blinded by her mask's blue lights. Piston was clad head to toe in body armor. Held aloft, he posed with a flamethrower almost as big as he was. 

"Piston always throws a fight." 

"Fuck." She muttered under her breath.

The first burst of the flamethrower sent a wave of heat washing over her barely clad skin. She prayed that the makeup held up to the heat and the sweat trickling down her skin. The air reeked of Piston's sweat and the propellant; it stank like the seventh circle of hell.

Maya dropped and rolled, rising with a dancer's ease as he shot off another burst of fire. She wrapped her wiry fingers around the chain link fence that made up the cage and started pulling herself up. Piston chuckled darkly, taking aim once more. She let go as he squeezed the trigger. Her elbow connected with his skull. She heard the crunch, but he threw her off like a rag doll. Her skin drug against the rough tarp floor. Even before she rose she knew there was going to be a bright red spot from the friction. Groaning, she picked herself up. Her palm brushed her toned stomach; she didn't notice the faint tint of foundation on her palm. 

"Piston can barely smell how much of a loser you are over his gasoline cologne!"

Wobbling on her feet, she lunged at him. Barely suppressed rage tore through her chest in a primal scream. She knew she wasn't thinking as she swung wildly. It was too hard to think after Moxxi and Tina's "coaching". 

_"Just think of your opponent of the one you hate the most, sugar. Picture their ugly face, and pummel it. I don't care how much you controlled yourself up until now, just unleash it."_

_"Yeah, you gots to let go! Be one with your badass self, gurl! You da bestest, biggest badass out there!"_

She thought she would picture Brother Sophis' face as she attacked Piston. Instead, the face super imposed over the cyborg's face was that of Jack. Her jaw tightened under her mask. She felt the metal warp under her fists. Piston tried raising the flamethrower, but she was on him, keeping in tight, never letting up her flurry of blows. Aluminum would only hold out so long. Blood streamed from her knuckles. 

He caught the side of her face with the tip of the flamethrower. The masks crunched under the gun, tearing the jaw from the nose piece of the psycho mask. Her rage surged, boiling up into a fury. Her left fist curled involuntarily. Her tattoos glowed, especially the ones exposed by her sweat.

"HOLY S--T! SHE'S A MOTHERFU---ING SIREN, PEOPLE! IS THAT CHEATING??? MEEDELY-MEEDLEY MOW-WOW-WOW, PLOT TWIST!"

Piston rose until his head smacked the top of the cage. He screamed in frustration, his legs uselessly flailing under him. He screamed. Maya jerked her fist down until he slammed onto the tarp. With her free hand, she yanked off her mask, throwing it onto him. 

"Stay down." She growled. 

She didn't hear Zer0 sneak into the cage. Huffing, she stared down Piston, challenging him to try and fight her. Custom handcuffs snapped shut over his massive wrists. For good measure, Zer0 slammed their elbow into the side of his skull. They flashed a ":D" smile on their visor as they drug Piston away. 

"WELL, THAT'S IT FOLKS, TURNS OUT THE UNDERCOVER COP WAS THE TRUE BADASS!"

"You know what they say, a rock and a hard--"

"INNUENDO! MOXXI, STOP COMMENTATING, THE SHOW'S OVER!"

Maya staggered out of the ring, her breathing coming in harsh pants. Everything hurt. The world spun a little. She tapped her hidden echo.

"Hey, can someone get a hold of Nina? I need a patch job."

"You okay, tiger?"

"Got banged up pretty bad, but Piston's been taken in. The fight club is disbanded, and I am not doing another undercover job again." 

Lilith's response was a chuckle. Maya bit her lower lip; she had a sinking feeling that Lilith had other plans for her. She didn't speak as she fell into her seat in the surveillance van. She picked up her phone off of the consoles. She checked the single message from the previous night. 

"They're releasing me in two days. Can you come and get me?" 

Sighing softly, she settled back in the seat, allowing herself to doze. Angel was finally ready.


	5. Homecoming

Maya never thought she would be nervous about bringing someone home from the hospital. The most she was used to was giving a stern lecture to her passenger while reminding them to take care and not get themselves hurt in such a stupid way. But Angel… She was a different case. What do you say to someone that you rescued from almost certain death only to have a hand in killing her father? She was pretty sure they didn’t make cards for that. And she didn’t want to ask a florist what flowers said ‘sorry your father was an asshole’. 

She pulled her runner into a slot near the entrance to Generally Hospital. She had heard that the place had gone to shit a few years back, but someone fixed it up. Or maybe it was part of a hospital chain. Nervous energy flooded her. Her mind buzzed with activity, her heart thudding hard in her chest. What the hell did she have to be nervous about? Angel hated her father. 

She opened and closed her palms on her runner’s steering wheel. She swallowed, but her throat was dry. Maya let out a loud breath. Find her center, breathe. Her mind leapt back to the Abbey. She shook her head, forcing away the thoughts. What was so hard about dealing with one girl? Chiding herself, she got out of her car. Maya checked her pockets for her ID. She snatched up the manilla folder from her passenger seat. The hospital couldn’t refuse to release Angel to her. She had taken all the appropriate steps to have the girl released to her. 

Maya took one last longing look at her runner. She shook her head. Shoulders squared, she set off for the hospital’s main entrance. 

The hospital’s lobby had a wide, glass ceiling. Bright light trickled in from above, highlighting the unit that made up the receptionists’ desk. The desk itself was a massive granite topped square with two little swinging doors to allow the clerks in and out. Maya took in the lobby, the artificial plants, the receptionists in their little mock scrubs. She could smell the disinfectant from the doorway. 

She adjusted her grip on her folder as she approached the desk. The receptionist closest to her was busily filing her nails. Her perfectly coiffed hair gave off the impression that she was waiting for someone to notice her for her big break. 

“Um, excuse me, miss, but where are the patient rooms?”

“Second floor, past the OR.” Terse, clipped speech. Practiced and spoken without a hint of emotion. 

“Thanks.”

Maya bit her lower lip to keep herself from turning back and telling the woman off. She curled and uncurled her fists until the moment passed. Her sneakers squeaked on the shiny white linoleum.

As it turned out, navigating the hospital was not unlike exploring a labyrinth. Several wrong turns led her to a cafeteria, at least one nurse’s station, and then the morgue. After a while she gave up and took an elevator. Frustration rising, she stepped out onto the second floor and found a nurse’s station. She sucked in a breath, releasing it slowly before she finally approached the nearest nurse.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for my ward. She was taken out of ICU last week and is ready to be discharged…”

The nurse turned. Maya nearly flinched at the sight. Her face was severe, but quite round at the same time. She was a short woman, but gave off an imposing vibe. Her nametag read ‘Nina’. 

“What is patient’s name?”

“Angel. Angel St. Clair.” 

“Oh, is sweet lapushka. Nina take you.” 

Nina slipped out from behind the desk, taking a few surprisingly long strides. She made a sharp gesture with her hand. Maya followed her, watching the woman’s twin buns bounce with each step. At the end of a wide hallway there was a series of rooms, most had closed doors save for the very last one on the left. Nina led Maya in after she tapped on the doorframe. 

The room wasn’t particularly large. There was one bed, a series of monitors, and a flat screen tv. There was a chair beside the bed. Angel looked so tiny in the massive hospital bed. She sat on the edge of the bed, her legs dangling a few inches above the floor. She was wrapped in one of Gaige’s old hoodies and a pair of grey jeans. Maya felt a pang of guilt when she spotted the shaved portion of Angel’s scalp. Fresh stubble was starting to grow in. 

“Hey, kid. You ready to go home?”

Angel glanced up, her pale blue eyes lighting up. The pang of guilt deepened. 

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

Nina must have snuck off at one point. She came back, paperwork in hand. Papers were thrust in Maya’s hands. A pen was handed to her. Maya frowned as she read over the papers, taking care to sign each and every one. Nina disappeared once more. When she returned she had a wheelchair. She took Maya’s paperwork without a word. Maya caught her looking over Angel with a look of concern.

“You have any worries, you call. Nina make sure she get good care.”

Maya nodded. She stepped away from Angel’s side. Nina lifted the girl like she was made of paper. Angel was soon settled into her wheelchair. Her nose wrinkled. 

“I can walk.”

“Nina sorry, but you cannot walk out.” 

Angel’s hands flopped into her lap. She rolled her eyes, glancing up at Maya. Maya gently squeezed her shoulder. 

“I know you want to walk, but things take some time. We’ll get you set up, I promise.”

The three of them crossed the hall, the only sound was the squeaking of shoes and the soft hiss of the wheelchair’s wheels on the floor. 

“Hey, Mai.”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.” 

Maya felt like someone punched her in the chest. She bit her lower lip. For a moment her eyes stung. She shook off the feeling. So maybe it was a little irrational to want to hug the girl and refuse to let her go. Nina helped them to the hospital doors. Her dark eyes seemed a tad warmer in the bright light of the lobby. She nodded in approval as Maya took the handles of the chair. 

“Dasvidaniya, little one.”

“Thank you, Nina.”

With a little salute, Nina turned on her heel. She slipped back into the corridors, leaving Maya alone with Angel. 

“Gaige is going to have a heart attack when she sees you.”

“Wait, why?”

Maya gave the chair a good push to get it over a rut in the concrete of the ramp. 

“I didn’t tell her today was your release day.”

“Why?”

“Lil has her doing some important cyber snooping. I didn’t want to distract her. You know Gaige, tell her something she’s excited about and then she can’t focus for a week straight.” 

Maya pulled the chair up along the passenger side of her runner. She hit the key fob, unlocking the doors. It took a little finagling to get the door open with enough room for access to Angel’s wheelchair, but Maya managed it. She scooped the girl up in a fireman’s carry. Angel was so light, so thin. She could feel the girl’s ribs beneath her skin. Once Angel was settled she got to work folding up the hated chair. It barely fit in her runner’s back hatch. 

Maya slid into the driver’s seat. She paused long enough to study Angel’s face. Her color was better. The bags under her eyes no longer resembled bruises. Angel smiled at her. She smiled back. Her mind produced an image she had tried to suppress time and time again. 

A thin young woman lying on the concrete floor of a basement of an elaborate mansion. A hospital grade drip feeder was linked up with her arm, pumping her full of purple fluid. Angel trembled. Her eyes were bloodshot. Her tattoos glowed a dull, purple tinted white. There were prototype implants drilled into her skull. The iv tubing was ripped from her arm. The girl gasped, choking out what they thought was one last vitriolic attack at her father. 

Gunshots rang out behind her. Maya still clung to the girl, begging her to stay conscious. There was a warm tingling in her palm. She could still hear Jack screaming for her to get away from his daughter. She remembered the stunned look on Lilith’s face when Jack took her hostage, dragging her away to some secret hideout. The others immediately went after Jack leaving her with Gaige… And Angel. 

“You’re thinking about something.”

“Huh?” 

Maya glanced up, feeling herself snapping out of her thoughts. She had pulled into her usual parking spot outside of her apartment building. She didn’t even remember the drive. 

“Sorry. I was… remembering when we first met you… In person.”

“I think Axton was convinced I was a catfisher.”

“He thought you were Gaige’s imaginary girlfriend. Except we all got your messages.”

“Maya?”

“Yeah?”

“Why are you helping me?” Angel didn’t look over at her. Her gaze was focused on her skinny knees. 

Her cheekbones looked so stark, so harsh. She was looking at a child forced to become a woman. It hurt. Maya exhaled shakily. 

“Just because your father was an asshole doesn’t mean you are. You never did anything like he did. It wasn’t your choice.”

“What if I become like him?” Angel’s voice broke. 

Tears streamed down her face. Maya reached out a hand, gently brushing Angel’s shoulder. The girl pulled away. 

“You won’t. I know you won’t. I’ve got your back, Angel.” 

Big, teary eyes stared up at her. Maya made an effort to smile, but her lips didn’t move more than a fraction of an inch. She unclipped Angel’s seatbelt. She pulled the girl close, gently tucking her head to her shoulder. 

“I promise you, Angel. Everything will be better now. Except maybe the neighbors.” She added the last bit as Axton hammered on her window. 

“Hey, that’s Gaige’s girl. Stop stealing everyone’s girl, Maya.”

Maya flipped the bird at Axton. Angel glanced up at Axton looming over the runner’s driver side window. She pursed her lips, backhanding stray tears. She depressed the window control, rolling the window down.

“At least she visited me in the hospital, unlike you.”

Maya tried her hardest not to laugh. She truly did. The effort failed spectacularly. 

“Hey, Ax, how does it feel to get your ass handed to you by a twenty-year-old?”

“Well, shit.”

He cleared his throat. Maya watched him shuffle his feet, hand straying to the back of his neck.

“Do, uh, you ladies need some help?”

“I’ve got this. See you later, Ax.”

Maya rolled the window up. Angel managed to keep herself from laughing until it was fully closed. She pulled away from Maya, laughing until she doubled over. Fresh tears streamed down her now red cheeks. 

“Don’t kill yourself, kid. I don’t want to take you back to the hospital already.”

Angel got herself under control. She coughed a few times, flinching. 

“Owwwww.” 

“You’re going to need to get used to that. You’re going to laugh a lot with Gaige around.”

“Ohhh my ribs already hurt.” She whined as she rubbed at her sides. 

“C’mon, let’s get you inside and get you some real food.”

“Real food.” Angel sighed.

Maya felt the burden of guilt ease up a little when she saw her ward smiling.


	6. Turf Wars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely one of the longest chapters yet. Progress on the next chapter will take a bit, but hopefully I'll have it up in a few weeks.

Maya heard a soft tapping on her office’s door frame. She didn’t bother looking up from her paperwork. The fact that her department required triplicate forms of everything irked her to no end; especially since that particular sheet had to be written out manually.

“Hey, killer, I’ve got an assignment for you.”

“Huh? Oh, hey. What’s up?”

“Kadam needs you over in Lynchwood.”

Maya heard the tip of her pen snap. She glanced down at the pool of black ink soaking her meticulous notes. She could already feel her shoulders drooping.

“Why exactly does she need me? She has a forensics team.”

“Reinholdt’s on maternity leave. Jackobson got his stupid ass shot in a turf fight. Apparently he wasn’t a law abiding citizen after all. And Winger--”

“Can’t tell his ass from a hole in the ground.” 

Maya crumbled up her form, tossing it in the trashcan. Some ink had seeped into her blotter. She ran her finger through the ink, idly tracing shapes. Lilith briefly glanced down and immediately refocused her gaze. She honestly didn’t want to know.

“So yeah, she needs some good forensic insight.”

“Bank robbery, homicide, suicide, or turf wars?”

“Uh, how about a little of each?”

“Oh you have got to be kidding me.”

“Well, she’s out of our jurisdiction and you know Kadam. Never wants to ask for help.” 

“But she’s psychotic.”

“Yeah, well, pressure from above wants me to send you there. Apparently we do have higher ups.” 

Maya brushed her hands off on her jeans, suddenly regretting her decision. She took extra care to not look down at the mess she made. 

“Gr-eat. When does she need me?”

“Yesterday. I’ve got travel arrangements set up.”

“And you couldn’t send Tannis or Gaige?”

“Do you remember the last time we tried to send Tannis out of jurisdiction?” 

Maya had the vague memory of inhuman screeching. And blood. Lots of blood.

“Oh.”

“Gaige doesn’t have the specialty training like you. And we can’t exactly spare anyone else.”

“What does Zer0 do here anyway?”

“Beats me. I just know it’s not in hi-- their job description.”

“Okay. I’ll finish this form and head out.”

“Don’t worry about the paperwork, I’ll handle it. Get moving. Oh, and if she comes on to you, I won’t get jealous. Thought you should know.”

“Uh, what?”

Lilith leaned on the door frame. Maya had to fight to keep her eyes focused above her collarbone. Silently, she cursed Lilith’s existence. 

“I heard she has a thing for people with power. Hey, maybe it’ll ease up departmental tension. Though, you and I should probably have a talk about what we are. Y’know, if we’re dating or just fucking. I don’t have a problem with either, but it’d be a good thing to figure out.”

Maya’s cheeks stung from the sudden rush of blood. She shifted in her desk chair, the springs creaking beneath her. Her knee bobbed, her leg twitching with sudden nervous energy. 

“We, probably should talk about that... When I get back.” 

Her nerves weren’t lost on Lilith. She caught the almost devilish gleam to her chief’s eyes. Lilith gave her one last smile, pointing to the door.

“See you when you get back, tiger. Do good out there.” 

“Sure. See you when I get back…” 

Maya felt the metaphorical floor fall out from under her as Lilith walked out of the room. There was only a hint of her hips’ usual sashay as she walked away. Maya had a feeling she was in trouble. The worst part was that she had yet to do anything. If she even was going to do anything. Sucking in a harsh breath, she started gathering her scene kit. She checked her camera and her tools twice before setting out to her apartment. On the bright side it was time away from Gaige and Angel. On the not so bright side… Lynchwood was a tough town. Worse than Sanctuary. Far worse. 

Maya shouldered her backpack as she stepped onto the train platform. She swallowed thickly, feeling the desert air draw the moisture out of her throat. She slid on a pair of aviator sunglasses, still flinching in the bright sunlight. Slow footsteps made their way toward her. She tensed, reaching for the gun she kept on her.

“Take it easy there. I’m not going to kill the only forensics expert for miles.” 

Maya half turned to spy the sheriff who stopped several paces shy of her. The vest and star badge had gone out of style years ago, but Nisha somehow managed to pull it off. For once her hair was swept out of her face into a tight ponytail. Her piercing gold eyes gleamed in the harsh light. 

“Would it kill you to make a less dramatic entrance next time?” 

Nisha’s laugh was a harsh bark. Her smile very nearly predatory. 

“Old habits die hard. Let’s get you moving. We’re due at the scene soon and I don’t trust Winger to keep it clear for long.”

“Uh, no hard feelings, right?”

Nisha stopped mid-turn, glancing over her shoulder. For a moment Maya was reminded that they weren’t too far apart in age and that she stood a good four inches taller than Nisha. 

“Look, the thing with Jack is behind me. If I would’ve known what he did, I would’ve done the same.”

She paused a moment, still standing in place. Something crossed her face that Maya couldn’t fully read.

“How’s his kid?”

“She’s doing well. She’s currently crashing at my apartment, actually.”

There was a hint of a smile curling Nisha’s lips. She nodded, gesturing for Maya to follow her.

“For the moment we’ll leave your things at the station. Don’t worry, I have lockers ready for you.   
Unfortunately the bandits took out our only hotel, so it looks like you’re bunking at my place. Trust me, it’s better me than Winger.” 

Maya’s brow creased. She felt the corners of her lips tugging down. Great. Drawing in a breath, Maya adjusted the straps of her backpack. She was already dreading her assignment. 

Maya lifted her camera, snapping off a series of pictures to document the crime scene. She lowered the lens, her lips pursing. Bricks had blown into the neighboring building, taking out windows and the front of a store. So much for Lynchwood’s only hotel. The Rest Inn was more of a rest in pieces. Maya made note of glass shards, taking careful steps to avoid contaminating evidence. Her tyvek safety suit made sweat trickle down her back. 

“Any idea why they hit up a hotel?”

“It’s Van der Meer’s gang. Never know with those types. Probably had rumors about some kind of treasure map. Or maybe they got drunk and someone set off some black powder like a moron.” 

Maya knelt over a small pile of black dust, sliding a respirator over her face. She collected a sample and gingerly set it in her forensics kit. She rubbed the residue between her fingers. Grainy, deep black coloration. Even with her respirator on she could faintly smell sulfur.

“Hm, you might be right about the black powder.”

“They call ‘em Powder Monkeys. Suicide bombers. Any signs of a body?”

Maya had crept further into the wreckage, keeping an eye on the floor above her.

“Can’t really say. I can’t go in too far in case the roof collapses.”

Almost immediately after the words left her lips a groan escaped the wood support almost directly above her. Maya leapt back, stumbling over a pile of bricks. A strong hand seized her by the collar, dragging her back, far from the rubble. She frantically swept the wreckage for signs of her kit. Luckily the box had been just outside the building, far from the cave-in. The precinct issue camera was still hanging from a strap on her neck. 

“You gonna be alright?”

Maya released a shaky breath. Despite herself, she started laughing. Nisha waited out her fit. She crouched down alongside Maya, gently taking her chin in hand. She tilted Maya’s head one way then another, checking her pupils. Everything seemed normal enough. 

“Uh, what exactly are you doing?”

“Checking that you don’t have a concussion. I don’t want to explain to your chief why you got hurt or got your ass killed on my watch. Lil and I, don’t exactly see eye-to-eye.”

“Looks like we’re ess-oh-ell, huh?” 

“I’ve got an excavation crew I can call. Slows us the hell down, but I have a few other leads. I can’t believe those jagoffs told me the building was clear. I oughta--” Nisha cut herself off, shaking her head. 

Maya could tell there was a struggle going on in Nisha’s head. The desire to keep her beloved city safe but also the desire to see those who broke the law punished. It was no wonder people called her psychotic. Nisha was already a few paces ahead, her footfalls guiding them deeper into town. Maya hesitated before gathering her gear. Nisha was a woman almost constantly in motion. 

“Tomorrow we head to the prison. I’ve got one of her crewmen cooling his heads in custody. We keep him drunk so he won’t off himself to protect her secrets. Dumb as hell, but it’s working.”

“Could be worse.”

Nisha stopped dead in her tracks, turning to Maya. For a moment their eyes locked and Maya could see a certain harshness to her eyes. Nisha blew out a breath, beckoning with one finger. 

“C’mon, we’ve got one more scene I want you to look at before nightfall. Then I’ll take you back to my place and get you set up.”

“I am so glad you added something after the ‘back to my place’ part.” 

“Are you always a smartass or is it just around me?”

“Depends.” 

Nisha’s only response was a soft grunt as she turned the corner into an alleyway. White tape awkwardly outlined the shape of a body. The wall was spattered with blood, old booze bottles marked a near shrine to the departed. Graffitied on the wall was a skull and an S.

“So what’s the deal with the tagging?”

“Van der Meer’s calling sign of sorts. Guess they used it this time to mark that he was one of their own. Guy looked the part. They all look like EchoNet pirate movie extras.”

Maya glanced up from the lens of her camera, pursing her lips.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

Maya snapped off a couple dozen photos, taking note of the scene.

“I’m going to need to see the body and check for gunshot residue. The spatter angle looks about right from the relative position of the tape markings. Your report said suicide, right?”

“Best as we could figure, yeah. But I’ll take you to the body so we can get your opinion.” 

“Your coroner any better than Zed?”

Nisha turned back to the scene after briefly scouting out the alleyway. A black shadow had cut across her vision. It was just a passerby. The footsteps lingered long enough for someone curious, but not long enough to be suspicious. 

“I’ve heard rumors about Zed. I doubt my guy is much better, but at least he knows his stuff most of the time. Got everything you need?”

“Yeah. How about the bank?”

“I have that cordoned off. People keep trying to break in and steal whatever remains of their savings. I have a watch posted twenty-four hours. We’ll have to go in after dark so we don’t draw attention or end up with hecklers.”

“Good point.”

Maya’s knees popped as she rose from her crouch. She gave the scene one last look over. Something caught her eye. She opened her tool kit to extract a pair of gloves. Nisha opened her mouth to question her, but shut it when she saw the look of utter focus on Maya’s face. Maya slid on her gloves creeping close to the brick wall. She felt along the mortar until she found the spot that caught her eye. A little searching through her scene kit produced a chisel. She wedged the blade in between two bricks. It slid in through the weak mortar, producing fine crumbles. With a modicum of leverage the brick popped out. She tugged a scrap of paper loose. 

The paper was yellowed and had burned edges. It was clearly the work of an artisan trying to replicate parchment of yore. Maya spread out the paper, her brow creasing. 

“So, how do you feel about pirate maps?”

“Van der Meer strikes again. I really ought to just shoot her and--”

“Not exactly following the law.”

“She keeps getting away, it’d make my job easier.”

“Yeah, but then you’d have to turn in your badge. I say look the map over, maybe search it out. If anything use it to set a trap for her.”

“You sure you don’t want to work for me?”

Maya sealed her find in a red evidence bag, slipping it in alongside her chisel. She pulled off her gloves, taking care to roll the cuff so that the gloves turned inside out as she removed them. Those too were sealed in an evidence bag.

“Never know what the bricks might have been laced with. Trace evidence could be a godsend.”

Nisha nodded, acknowledging her with a soft grunt. She cocked her head to the west, back toward Lynchwood PD’s precinct. 

“Let’s get you your stuff. I feel bad that I made you work so soon after you arrived.” 

“Don’t worry about it. I knew you had a bit of a mess over here.”

“Mess is one word for it. Dinner’s on me.”

“You don’t have to--”

“Just accept it; this is probably the nicest I’ll be while you’re here.”

Maya wanted to laugh, but something told her Nisha wasn’t lying. Not in the least. 

\--  
“So, what exactly happened between you and Lilith?”

Nisha shifted in her leather desk chair, her nose wrinkling in thought. Her living room was very bare save for a makeshift bar, a coffee table, a wing chair, and now her office chair. She rose from her chair, crossing to the bar.

“It started back in our old jurisdiction, back in Elpis.”

Nisha poured herself a shot of whiskey, downing it without a moment’s hesitation. Maya leaned forward in the wing chair, watching Nisha. Part of her tensed in the off chance that she struck a nerve and angered her hostess.

“Jack had this idea. This new way of ending crime using tech and the drug Eridium. It was supposed to be a way of stopping crime before it happened or at the very least creating an unstoppable police force.”

“Let me guess: You bought into it?”

“Like a kid believing in Mercenary Day miracles. I was a dumb kid. It was my first job outta the academy. I thought I could make a difference.”

Nisha poured herself a glass, setting aside her shot glass. She glanced over at Maya and poured her one. She pressed the glass in Maya’s unresisting hand.

“So you and Lil disagreed and everything went to shit after that, right?”

“Let’s just say Jack’s method of interrogation was… Unsavory. He wasn’t DA yet. I think he bought that election out since Tassiter royally screwed up the Lost Legion investigation. Lil told him he was crazy. The two of them fought-- and not just with words.”

Nisha took a swig of her drink. Maya did the same, flinching at the afterburn. It was a good whiskey, strong and smoky. 

“Long story short, we were all in the wrong. Athena retired from the force, took up bounty hunting. Lil got shoved into the New Haven district. I stayed with Jack, yeah, both ways. At least until he started getting in over his head. Like I said, if I had known what he was doing… If only. I would have brought him down myself.”

Nisha took another sip. She didn’t even seem remotely phased by the liquor. Maya drank more, already starting to feel the warmth spreading through her limbs. And she was no lightweight.

“And here we are.”

“Pretty much. I’m amazed she even sent you. From what I hear, you’re her best investigator.” 

Nisha smiled. Her face didn’t look nearly as harsh in the dim lighting of her apartment.

“I try, I guess I’m just detail-oriented.” 

“The offer stands if you ever get tired of Sanctuary. I could use someone like you on my force.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, Nisha.”

“Good. So, what’s your story? Seems like everyone in your department has one.” 

Nisha settled back in her chair, crossing her legs. Her glass was precariously perched on her armrest. Maya shifted her weight, the deep leather cushions creaking. She drank deeply from her glass if only to bide some time. 

“I was left on the doorstep of a monastery over in Athenas. I was raised by the Brotherhood of the Impending Storm. They trained me as a warrior, as a goddess of sorts. All about my tattoos.”

“You have the powers, right?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Like Lil, I have this weird ass gift. The Order raised me to be feared. I got sick of that bullshit, decked my creeper of a caretaker and took off for a better life.” 

Admittedly, she had cut out a few details, but Nisha didn’t need to know all of her story. 

“And yet you wound up in Sanctuary PD.”

“Yep.”

“So, since you were a monk, did you have to shave your head?”

Maya spat out her mouthful of whiskey. The burn was three times worse when part of it came out of her nose.

“Nisha!”

“Guess that’s a no.”

“You’re awful.” 

Nisha’s laughter was lower than Maya had expected. It was far from unpleasant.


	7. The Long Arm of the Law

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so sorry for the delay. I hit a pretty bad rut and very nearly stopped writing altogether for a while. I'm slowly dragging myself out of it and let me tell you all, it really blows! But here's the latest chapter fueled by little sleep.

Gunshots rang out in the narrow alleyway. Maya ducked behind a dumpster (Dahl issue), her Hyperion handgun raised. Nisha was firing off rounds on a Jakob's pistol. She fanned the hammer like the star of some old western. Her her hat flew off, a massive hole blown through the sheriff's star. She dove for cover, all but landing on top of Maya. She cursed bitterly. 

"Giving up already, love? Did you get tired of our little game of cat and mouse?"

Maya watched the tension in Nisha's jaw. Her gold eyes were narrowed dangerously. Maya noticed that the look was more pained than anger. She almost looked wounded. 

"I told you to stay the fuck out of my town. I'm not gonna let you go this time-- you're going to hang."

Nisha had already jammed a speed loader into her pistol. Six rounds ready for the fight. Maya checked her clip. 

Her heartbeat was deafening. Raw adrenaline boiled through her, making her hands tingle. Her evidence bag was crammed in her pocket, sharp corners of the echo chip dug into her thigh. She longed for the quiet offices back in Sanctuary-- one where her investigations didn't nearly kill her. 

"You always threaten me with a good time, but you never seem to live up to it. I'm disappointed."

Nisha rose from cover, swearing under her breath. Maya kept low, creeping around the dumpster's edge to get a better look at their assailant. Deep red hair, two heavy-looking prosthetic limbs, and an eyepatch. She looked like a pirate echo gone bad. If Maya wasn't so nervous she'd laugh at the bizarreness of it all. The whole thing sounded more like a lover's spat than a crime spree. A bullet grazed her cheek only to ping and smack into Nisha's shield. Blood trickled onto her shirt. What control she had been keeping slipped. It was all too bizarre. 

The gunfire did not halt for long. A big, burly man opened fire with a Tediore custom the instant Nisha came into view. Despite her best efforts, anger started creeping in through Maya's resolve. She felt herself rise, her grip adjusting on her gun. Her left hand curled into a fist, palm up. She focused her sudden rage, encasing Van der Meer in a bubble of energy. Her tattoos glowed as white hot as the summer sun. She hardly noticed the rush of energy escaping her. Teeth grinding, she took a step forward. Her gun was trained on the big guy. He swung toward her, his gun pointed at her. His bullets bounced off the swirling energy encasing his boss. One round ricocheted and tore into his shoulder, spattering blood all over the brick walls. He dropped his gun, screaming in agony as he clutched uselessly at his pulped shoulder. 

"Enough." The words were harsh, rougher than she originally intended; maybe being around Nisha was bringing something out in her? 

The smirk had been wiped off Van der Meer's face. Even Nisha seemed surprised, but it was hard to tell save for the slightest widening of her eyes. The few stragglers of Van der Meer's crew scattered, fleeing from the sight of the silvery white glow to Maya's eyes.

"Alright, alright. Get your bloody ace in the hole to lighten up, Nish."

Nish? Too familiar for enemies. Far too familiar for the cold, stoic sheriff of Lynchwood. Nisha took a step forward, sliding handcuffs from her belt. Maya lowered her fist, gently tugging the swirling phaselock down so that Van der Meer's feet brushed the ground. 

"Always told you I'd catch you, Red."

There was a hint of sadness to her voice. The joviality of the gang leader was whisked away and replaced with something darker. Maya noticed a slight change in Nisha's demeanor. The stance wasn't a proud one. 

Holding the phaselock made her knees tremble. Her vision started to blur around the edges. Nisha tapped her wrist, gesturing with her chin for her to release it. Maya broke from her daze like a startled somnambulist. Cognition flooded back, a sharp jolt of cold water to her dozing mind. 

"You did good. I'll read her rights back at the station. I've already notified backup about her cronies. You go back to my place and rest up. I'll bring you the paperwork."

Maya nodded, but the words hardly made sense. She didn't remember stumbling into Nisha's spartan apartment or falling into a deep slumber. 

\--

The interrogation room was a garrish shade of green-grey. It made Maya think of a sick skag. She leaned against the dual-sided glass, watching the proceedings. Van der Meer, or Scarlett as her case file said, had been unarmed in the most literal sense. Sitting in the tiny little room, she seemed much smaller without either of her prosthetics. She had her arms crossed as best as she could and her one good foot on the desk. Maya was very thankful that she was just in the observation room. Winger, the deputy, however made it more uncomfortable due to his bulk and his rather noticeable stench. 

Nisha stepped into the room, looking far more serious without her hat or her usual (non-regulation) duster. Her sleeves were rolled, showing scarred and wiry forearms. She took a seat across from Scarlett, but only after slamming down a file nearly the size of a small phonebook on the table between them. Scarlett just grinned.

"A fan of my work, hm?"

"You do realize this is an interrogation, right?"

Scarlett leaned forward, her grin spreading. Maya felt her eyebrow rise. Nisha didn't look too shaken.

"The hell did you do it?"

"I wanted you attention of course. You've gotten so dull since you dumped Jacky-boy."

Nisha scoffed, undeterred. She started listing off crimes and their counts, occasionally being interrupted by Scarlett for commentary. Nearly two hours later, they reached a standoff. Technically Scarlett didn't confess. 

Maya rotated her ankles, shifting her weight. Winger pressed a Styrofoam cup of coffee into her hand. He sipped at his.

"Does it always go on like this?"

"Only with her. Van der Meer's tricky."

Maya leaned over the console, lips pursing. She may have picked up a few tricks through her time at Sanctuary PD. She tapped the comm button. Nisha's earpiece picked up.

"Try flirting with her."

Nisha turned to the glass, knowing all too well that Maya could see her, but not vice-versa. She sneered. Maya couldn't contain her grin. 

"Do you want a confession? I think she wants you to play along." 

Nisha mouthed a few words at her. Almost instantly she felt her cheeks flush and her chest grew warm. She strongly wished Nisha could see her flipping the bird. Winger seemed utterly unphased. Or he simply didn't notice. 

Not even twenty minutes later, they got their confession. 

\--

“So, uh,” Maya snorted as she tried to stifle an uncharacteristic fit of giggles. “Is that Law?”

Nisha sat back, lips twisting into a slow grin. Her hawkish eyes narrowed just slightly.

“Nah, my pistol’s Law. This is Order.”

Maya couldn’t help herself. The whole situation was so bizarre that she couldn’t contain the laughing fit that wracked her ribs. It certainly didn’t help that she was quite intimate with “Order”. To her surprise, Nisha joined in, laughing harder than Maya thought she could. Hell, she had been convinced that Nisha was incapable of smiling.

“And we didn’t do this sooner, why?” Her voice was low and husky, not unlike Lilith’s.

Oh, Maya would probably be in hot water when she returned to her precinct, but then again, she wasn’t one to back down. Particularly not when it felt that good to be bad. 

\--

There was an escape down at the Lynchwood jail. The sirens didn't blare, there was no spilled blood. A single, redheaded woman disappeared into the night. She left a scarlet calling card on a building along with a rather incriminating photo. It wouldn't be found until morning.


	8. Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theoretically there may be two to three more chapters left, but that depends on how much work I get done over the next few months, what with me working on a novel and applying to grad school.

Maya laughed bitterly. She had barely been back a week and already it looked like she had a full plate on her hands dealing with the force of Gaige and Angel in the tech room. 

“Well at least there’s someone that can do field work.”

“Theoretically all we need is a drone and I can gather data from here.” 

Angel hardly lifted her eyes from her monitor. 

“Well, shit. Look, don’t make me redundant. Otherwise I might just take that job over in Lynchwood.” 

Gaige looked up from her bank of monitors, scoffing.

“Like that’s much of a threat. You’d go back because you’re down for some of the weird shit the Sheriff is into.” 

Maya felt a rush of blood flood her cheeks. She tugged at her shirt collar. A deep frown creased her brow. 

“By the way, what was with your bank statement this month? Got another hot date with Sheriff Kadam?”

“For your record, I bought Nisha a ticket to come and tour the Sanctuary PD forensics unit to help her set up her improved forensics unit.”

“There’s form I-9 for that kind of thing.” 

“Maybe I didn’t feel like doing the paperwork.”

“It’s like, three papers. Does Lil know about your other girlfriend?”

The heat rushing to Maya’s face was unbearable. Gaige had hardly spared her a glance from her computer. Angel glanced up once, trying to wipe a guilty smile off of her face. 

“What about another girlfriend?”

Maya’s blood ran cold as Lilith stepped into the tech room. Maya shifted on her feet, worrying her lower lip.

“Mai’s been shacking up with the Sheriff of Lynchwood.” Gaige volunteered.

“And she’s bringing her here.”

“Oh, the approved visit. Yeah, I know. The department didn’t have the money for the ticket and neither did Nisha’s. We kind of split the costs.”

Maya released the breath she was holding. She allowed herself a tiny little smirk until Lilith turned to her.

“Did we ever really figure out, y’know?”

“I figured we’d see how things go with the three of us working together.”

“See, this is why I like you.”

Gaige and Angel swapped horrified looks. Their mouths dropped open in nearly perfect sync. Maya and Lilith fist-bumped.

“It’s almost time to dole out assignments, lab rats. You might want to see if you can get Tannis out of the mass spec room.”

 

 

\--  
“Gaige, what are you writing?”

“Oh shit! N-nothing, Mai.” Gaige frantically covered her Echo’s screen. Her cheeks were flaming red.

Maya craned her neck, peering over her shoulder. Gaige hunched over the device, shaking her head, her lips pressed tight together. 

“It must be good if you’re trying to hide it from me.”

Gaige felt the tug of a phaselock pulling the Echo from her hands. A stream of nos left her lips, the syllables blending together in her haste. Maya cocked her head, silently skimming the text. 

“Uhh… Why am I the main character in a cop show?”

Gaige shook her head, keeping her lips sealed. Her cheeks burned bright as her hair. She couldn’t meet Maya’s eyes.

“Okay, so apparently I’ve slept with half my coworkers and… uh, my boss. You do realize I’m asexual, right?”

“It’s fanfic.” She blurted despite her best attempts to keep her mouth shut.

“Uh-huh.”

“Look, you’re really hot and it’s not fair to not have stuff written about you, you know. And I call bull on the whole ace thing. I saw you making out with Lilith at Moxxi’s.”

“Making out is something entirely different. That and we were drunk. Even if I was sober, I probably wouldn’t have stopped her because I’ve seen what she can do with her powers if she gets pissed. I’d rather not find out what being burned from the inside feels like.”

“Spoilsport.”

“Also, your foundation on criminal law needs some work.”

“Shut up, Maya.” 

Maya lifted a shoulder in a half-assed shrug. She released her phaselock with a pop. Gaige’s echo settled back in her hands. It felt slightly warm from Maya’s energy. 

“It’s published on the echonet! The least you can do is leave a kudo!” She called after the retreating siren. When she got no response, she stuck out her tongue. 

“Alright, chapter eight. Maya has a threesome with the hot sheriff and her boss.”

She paused, fingers hovering over her keyboard. She made a mental note to include the hard-worn ex-enforcer for Jack and her mechanic wife.


End file.
